Love is more than just a feeling—it’s chemical! Throughout different stages of a relationship, our brain releases various chemicals that influence how we think, feel, and connect with our partners. In this blog, we’ll explore what these chemicals are, how they work, and the impact they have on our relationships. Let’s dive in!
Dopamine—We’ve all heard of it by now! It’s closely linked to motivation, reward and pleasure, which explains why it increases when we’re dating someone we really like. This boost in dopamine makes us want to see them more and can even influence other decisions in our lives. Since it makes us feel good, we naturally seek out more of that experience.
Norepinephrine is closely linked to the nervous system and plays a key role in those familiar “butterflies” we feel in our stomach when we're excited or nervous about a date or seeing someone we’re romantically interested in. This chemical boosts energy, sharpens focus and attention, and creates feelings of elation. However, it’s also associated with cravings, appetite loss, and sleeplessness—explaining some of the changes we experience when falling in love can anyone relate?
And then there’s phenylethylamine (PEA)—quite the mouthful, right? This chemical triggers the release of norepinephrine, influencing signals related to happiness, sadness, and wakefulness. Ever experienced that unexplainable anxiety when trying to sleep around 2–3 AM? PEA could be responsible for that! It also plays a role in mood, attraction, and excitement. While PEA contributes to the rush of early romance, its effects are short-lived because the body quickly breaks it down. Still, its influence helps explain why falling in love feels so exhilarating!
As you can see, a lot is happening inside us when we’re flirting, dating, and falling in love. These chemicals, in varying amounts, pull us deeper into the relationship, making it feel exciting, addictive, and thrilling. However, these intense emotional and chemical rushes can’t last forever—our bodies simply aren’t built for it. That’s where oxytocin comes in, shifting the dynamic and helping relationships evolve.
Oxytocin is called the bonding hormone. It creates feeling of servility and trust and is built through intimacy, physical closeness and sex. As the initial rush of attraction settles, oxytocin helps strengthen emotional connections, building trust, intimacy, and long-term attachment. It shifts love from an exhilarating high to a deep, lasting bond.
All of this makes up what we call the honeymoon phase of a relationship, which can actually last up to three years. However, major life changes—like moving in together—can shift this dynamic, and that’s completely natural. These intense chemical reactions aren’t meant to last forever, and when they fade, some people mistakenly believe they’ve fallen out of love or that something is wrong in the relationship. But that’s not the case.
The changes—such as less excitement, a decrease in lust, and fewer emotional highs—are completely normal. What truly needs to remain constant is communication. Being open with your partner about how you’re feeling and even acknowledging it within yourself is crucial. The challenge comes when, instead of fostering intimacy and growing together, we allow these shifts to create distance. Without communication, we risk growing apart, leading to misunderstandings, defensiveness, and self-protection. When this happens, our inner critic may kick in, making us see our partner as an adversary rather than our trusted companion.
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