Understanding ADHD in Adulthood: A Personal and Professional Perspective

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is often associated with childhood, but for many people, it continues into adulthood—sometimes undiagnosed or misunderstood. As adults, we might not bounce off the walls like we did as kids, but the challenges ADHD presents can be just as real and impactful.

Colourful swirls and flowers surround a silhouette of a head labeled "ADHD," symbolising the busy and dynamic thoughts often experienced in ADHD.

In this post, I want to explore what ADHD is, how it can affect our daily lives, and share some reflections from my own experience and those close to me. My hope is to offer both insight and compassion—whether you're navigating ADHD yourself or supporting someone who is.

What Is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects behaviour, focus, and emotional regulation. Which can be divided into four core areas:

Inattention

People may struggle with:

• Forgetfulness

• Getting easily distracted

• Difficulty focusing or paying attention to detail

• Trouble organising tasks or following through

• Losing things frequently

• Forgetting daily responsibilities

Hyperactivity

Common traits include:

• Restlessness or fidgeting

• Excessive talking

• Difficulty staying still

• Interrupting or talking over others

• Impulsively answering questions

Impulsivity

This might look like:

• Acting without thinking

• Struggling to wait or take turns

• Engaging in risky behaviours without considering the consequences

Emotional Regulation

This is a lesser-discussed but equally important aspect. Many adults with ADHD experience:

• Intense emotional responses

• Difficulty identifying or processing emotions

• Feeling overwhelmed by everyday situations

• Emotional “flooding” that comes on quickly and strongly

Diagram illustrating ADHD as a mental health condition, highlighting its components: Attention, Deficit, Hyperactivity, and Disorder.

Even simple daily tasks can become overwhelming, and in some cases, even unsafe—like driving. (You can read more shamiehlaw.com/adhd-and-driving/ about ADHD and driving safely.)

Living With ADHD: My Personal Experience

While I’ve never been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I strongly identify with several of its traits—particularly around inattention, hyperactivity, and emotional regulation. Here’s how it shows up for me:

Forgetfulness

My memory has always been a bit unreliable, which can be frustrating. I’ve learned to support myself by using reminders, notes, and memory games to stay on track.

Missing the Details

I often don’t pick up on small changes or subtle cues—it's like my brain filters them out. There’s an ongoing joke that I won’t notice if you’ve had a haircut or rearranged a room until days later. I hope those close to me know it’s not a lack of interest—it’s just the way my mind works.

Fidgeting

As a child, I was constantly reminded to “sit still.” That hasn’t changed much! Even when I feel calm inside, I often need to be in motion—tapping, stretching, or moving. Incorporating mindfulness and breathwork has helped me become more aware and slow things down when needed.

Emotional Intensity

I don’t often feel overwhelmed or upset, but when I do, it’s all or nothing. Sometimes, the emotions build without me realising, and then they surface suddenly and intensely. Mindfulness, setting boundaries, and staying honest with myself have helped me become more emotionally resilient.

ADHD in the Family: My Sister’s Journey

My sister has a more severe form of ADHD, and looking back, her childhood was extremely challenging—not just for her, but for our family. Over 30 years ago, ADHD wasn’t widely understood, and her struggles were often dismissed as “naughtiness” or “attention-seeking.”

It breaks my heart knowing how misunderstood she was. But over the years, I’ve seen her grow into someone who understands her brain, validates her experiences, and uses tools and strategies to manage daily life. Learning about ADHD gave her a sense of relief and self-compassion that changed everything.

A mind filled with endless distractions: navigating the chaos of thoughts and ideas.

What Helps: Tools and Therapies That I use to Support those with ADHD

There are many approaches that can make a real difference for people living with ADHD. Some of the most effective include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps reframe negative thinking patterns and improve self-esteem.

• Behavioural Therapy: Focuses on managing emotions and building healthy habits.

• Mindfulness: Teaches awareness and presence, helping reduce impulsivity and increase focus.

• Relational Therapy: Explores how ADHD affects communication and connection within relationships.

Final Thoughts

Whether you live with ADHD or simply relate to certain traits, know that you're not alone—and there’s nothing “wrong” with you. Our brains all work differently, and understanding those differences is the first step to self-compassion, growth, and connection.

Living with ADHD can be challenging, but it can also be full of insight, creativity, and depth. With the right support and strategies, it’s absolutely possible to build a life that works with your brain, not against it.